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What the hell is sexual compatibility, anyway? Why is it the foremost concern in a relationship?
Okay. I'm single. I'm looking for The One. I meet a lot of great guys. They like me. We get on okay. We enjoy the relationship, each other's company and spending time together...until the sex question comes up. I never make it a secret that I am waiting for marriage, even though no one else is, and these men try to convince me, sway me from my position and then the all-time argument, "How do you know if you are sexually compatible if you don't have sex first, before you marry?" The last time I checked, a man and a woman are physically sexually compatible. What most people are referring to is the emotional sexual compatibility; believe me, if you love someone, the sex will be pleasurable and that is because of the emotional connection, not a physical one; otherwise, how does one explain how one eventually falls for someone they're either having or have had sex with? Sex causes us to release hormones that heighten feelings of bonding, especially in women. What is the source of sexual compatibility? Where does it come from? Most people never bother to determine if there is emotional compatibility; apparently, it doesn't seem to matter and isn't considered important. However, emotional compatibility is more important to me than sexual compatibility. What happens when the sex stops, say for a medical reason, or guybirth? What does one do when sex isn't possible--health reason, ED, prostate issues or surgery--and there is no sex between a couple? Does the relationship fall apart? Simply put, I don't believe that I have to have sex to form a bond first. Sex can last only so long, but the emotional bond will stand the test of time. As for the high divorce rate, if people were more concerned about emotional compatibility instead of how good they can get laid and how turned out their partners are in bed, maybe marriages would last longer. Sex is not a means of recreation, it is an expression of love for one's partner; it is how married people reinforce the bond already established between them. I hear the same arguments: "No one buys a car without taking it for a test drive." "No one buy clothes or shoes without trying them on." To that, I say, "Guess what? No one wants or buys used clothes and shoes. As for cars, people wouldn't buy a used car if they can get a new one. To have sex with every guy I date would be to essentially reduce myself to a cheese tray in the deli; men will take a free sample, but it's highly unlikely that he'll buy, or even worse, he'll keep coming back for samples with no intention to buy, even though he swears he will. I will not give away pieces of myself to men who are not committed to me. My body is far too valuable to let hoardes of men sample it. I don't understand where the whole sexual compatibility concept came from; in all my experience in sexual psychology, I have never encountered this before. It appears to me that everyone lives in fear in ending up in a sexless relationship or marriage and want to ensure they don't by ensuring sexual compatibility. In my opinion, sexual compatibility is a scapegoat concept invented to free people of responsibility and liability and guilt in order to have an excuse to have sex freely. After all, who wants to marry someone without knowing if there is sexual compatibility? And who's to say that someone isn't using sexual compatibility as an excuse to have sex with someone? Anyone can claim to seek sexual compatibility and then after the sex, declare a lack of compatibility and move on to the next person. At that rate, one has already dealt their best card and sex is no longer special, just another means of entertainment and pleasure, like a massage or a movie. What gives???

SEX is the entire biological point between MEN and WOMEN.
If you don't like it -->> STAY HOME AND STAY SINGLE.

Period.

We are not in the business of giving you girls everything ELSE you want, while you whine and complain about the biological nature which YOU CANNOT REFORM.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEX. Sex and attraction ALWAYS comes first. Relationships come much later. But women approach this all BACKWARDS. That's why their relationships are frequently a screaming disaster and girls are always crying about it.

A "RELATIONSHIP" IS A WOMAN'S IDEA. For some reason women think that sex doesn't go on UNLESS they are in a "relationship". But that's CRAP.

SEX -->> is based on the instant natural concept of attraction. And nothing else.

A RELATIONSHIP -->> is based on a much longer list of things that are worked on and earned over TIME.

So which do you think happens FIRST???

NOT the relationship.

Men are not required to want a relationship.Nor do men owe you personal happiness. The sooner you understand that - the sooner you can stop blaming men like we should APOLOGIZE for wanting to have sex.

"THE ONE " is ANOTHER idea created by a woman. ITS A LIE. And it's far too limiting. If you think there is just ONE, then you have set yourself up to fail before you have begun.

Cheers.

Is it a good idea for me to go out with this guy?
I'm a freshman in my school's drama program. I hang out with all the upperclassmen in the program, and we never notice the age differences- we're all really close.

Yesterday, some of us went out to lunch and were gonna go over to someone's house to watch a movie after, but she got grounded, and one by one everyone dropped out, except for me and the driver (a senior). After we dropped off the last person, he asked if I still wanted to hang out and I said yes, since I wanted to get to know him better. We ended up going to the grocery store and just walking laps around it, talking and trying free samples and it was really fun.

Afterward, we went to his house to watch the movie, and he put his arm around me. I didn't know how to react, so I didn't do anything. Halfway through, we paused it for a phone call, and instead of turning it back on, just kind of laid on his bed. Then he started spilling about how he really likes me and the afternoon wasn't quite turning out how he'd planned, but still good, and again I didn't know how to react. We talked about it for a while, and got pretty snugly, and then two of his best friends came over, and I think it looked really weird when they came in the room to see us on his bed, with my hair messed up and all. I went to the bathroom to avoid the awkwardness, and they left.

We ended up talking for hours and hours, and he tried to kiss me a couple times, but I let him know I wasn't ready for that. He says he wants to get involved with me because he's been in a relationship for over a year and doesn't want to deal with that right before he goes to college. He doesn't want sex or anything, just change. We made a deal to keep it a secret to avoid weird things with our friends and families. He has a very analytical mind and explained it all very clearly to me, but I don't know how I feel about it all. It came as a really big shock to me. Help?

Sometimes it can be surprising to find out someone likes you. Theres nothing wrong with that. All I have to say about it is he's older than you and probably more experienced, so keep your guard up. Guys are smooth talkers and they know how to play most women, (not this one ;) lol ) Most times guys want sex, even if its not all they want its definitely on the top of their list believe that. I didn't understand this part.........

"He says he wants to get involved with me because he's been in a relationship for over a year and doesn't want to deal with that right before he goes to college."

That made no since to me. Is he still in that relationship now? If so just leave him alone until he's done, don't be the other woman. If not is he saying he wants to talk to you but not get too serious or exclusive because he's going to college? If this is the case please don't have sex with him becuz he's young and guys mature slow anyway he'll prolly be messin with more females in college. More than likely he's gonna want to be a free bird when he's in college, and you can't really blame him. Most people do at first. Basically I would just say take it slow and get to know him. You're both young, he's going to college. You're in diff places in your life. And alot changes for people after college. So in a semester to a year he could be totally different. This is like a transition time for him and I don't think taking this serious right now would be a good idea. TAKE YA TIME and you'll be fine. Good Luck!! :)

What advice would women give to men about taking advantage of leverage (e.g., when you are out of her league)?
If a man doesn't take advantage of his leverage however, the woman of course would not object. For example: If an athlete was known to get women in bed within a few hours of meeting him- and as a result this became a standard, the next woman would already know what the expectations were coming in, and she'd already be prepared to offer him sex in exchange for hanging out with him for a few hours. However, say this guy instead took the groupie out to dinner, then out dancing, then cuddled with her while watching a movie at his place-- he'd be giving her the impression that she wouldn't in fact be obligated to have sex with him so soon. So if he then suddenly said to her "ok, time to have sex" she'd feel like 'why should I give free milk samples if the farmer already bought the cow?'

Basically it tells a woman that it's ok for her to not have sex and STILL be able to get what she wants.

If a guy buys me something, cuddles with me, watches a movie with me, whatever...he did those things on HIS terms. My acceptance of them in no way implies that I have to have sex with him or that it wasn't okay for me to accept them because I wanted them. I don't sit back and think "hm, I shouldn't accept this because I don't want to have sex" every time someone does something nice for me.

Women can have things they want without having sex; the world doesn't revolve around sex, you know.

GIRLS am I your type? This is the real me behind the stony facade.?
If you have posted in this question before, feel free to ignore it. I am posting it again because I like a large sample group.

First off read this right now:

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100828183425AAhXDii&r=w

It is what I look like at first glance. It also describes my appearance. This post will tell you what I am actually like.

The Good.

I do not judge people at all. Being fat or ugly or dumb makes no difference to me. I look through people and I see what lies beneath their skin. The only thing I look for in a girlfriend is personality. Once I get to really love you, you become far more precious to me then you could imagine. I would NEVER pressure you for any kind of sex. I have an excellent sense of humour and a geeky lifestyle. If we were sitting on the couch, I would hold you close to me and treasure my time with you. I would go ANYWHERE you wanted to go. I would see a Girl movie with you if you want and I would buy you tampons without even the slightest hint of embarrassment. I would buy you whatever you wanted as long as I could afford it. Shoes, clothes and make-up. When it inevitably comes to sexual encounters I would always go at YOUR pace and never rush you. My priority would be to please you as best as I could.

The Bad

I have aspergers syndrome which means that I have odd social quirks. The women would always have to take the initiative because I am too shy to do it myself. I may not read your emotions correctly and you would have to explain to me what you want. Once I attach myself to you I would hate for you to leave me. Dumping me would completely shatter what little self esteem and confidence I have.

The BIG PROBLEM!

Any girlfriend I had would have to understand that we may never get married or have guyren! Because of my Aspergers I hate drastic change and I would not be able to cope with guys and marriage. This is not because I am shallow or because I don't love you. We could live together but we would stay BF and GF forever.

So am I your type? Don't lie.

First of all, Im sorry for your trouble. Personally, if you loved me, of course I would have to be attracted to you, I would have no problem. I can no longer have guyren and marriage is just a piece of paper to me. So those things wouldnt bother me. If you truly loved me, showed me, and was completely loyal to me, then all would be good.

POLL: does anyone know what this is an example of?
Star? Not I! Movie – it too has a star in or a cameo who wore mask – cast are livewires.

Soda-pop straws are sold, as part-encased a hot tin, I saw it in mad dog I met. Is dog rosy? Tie-dye booths in rocks.

All ewes lessen ill. I see sheep in Syria? He, not I, deep in Syria, has done. No one radio drew old one.

Many moths – I fondle his; no lemons are sold. Loot delis, yob, moths in a deli bundle his tin. Pins to net a ball I won – pins burst input. I loot to get a looter a spot paler. Arm a damsel – doom a dam. Not a base camera was in a frost, first on knees on top spot. Now a camera was a widened dam.

Ask: Cold, do we dye? No, hot – push tap, set on to hosepipe. Nuts in a pod liven.

A chasm regrets a motto of a fine veto of wars. Too bad – I all won. A sadist sent cadets – a war reign a hero derides. A bad loser, a seer, tossed a cradle – he begat to cosset – a minaret for Carole, Beryl, Nora. We’re not as poor to self.

I risk cold as main is tidal. As not one to delay burden, I don’t set it on “hot”. A foot made free pie race losses runnier. As draw won pull, eye won nose. Vile hero saw order it was in – even a moron saw it – no, witnessed it: Llama drops – ark riots. Evil P.M. in a sorer opus enacts all laws but worst arose. Grab a nosey llama – nil lesser good, same nicer omen.

In pins? No, it is open. If a top spins, dip in soot.

Madam, as I desire, dictates: Pull aside, damsels, I set a rag not for a state bastion. A test I won e.g. a contest I won.

Kidnap, in part, an idle hero. Megastars, red, rosy, tied no tie. Blast! A hero! We do risk a yeti’s opposition!

He too has a wee bagel still up to here held.

Demigods pack no mask, cap nor a bonnet, for at last a case is open – I left a tip – it wets. A dog wets too. Radios to help pay my tip, pull a tip.

Ale, zoo beer, frets yon animal. Can it? New sex arose but, we sots, not to panic – it’s ale – did I barrel? Did I lose diadem, rare carrot in a jar of mine? Droop as tops sag – unseen knots.

A cat ate straw as buck risk cud; evil foe, nil a red nag ate? Bah! Plan it – silage. Model foot in arboreta.

I, dark Satanist, set fire – voodoo – to slat. I design a metal as parrot, I deem it now. One vast sum is no ten in set – amen! Indeed, nine drag a yam, nine drag a tie. Dame nabs flower; can we help man? Woman is worse nob.

Mud level rose, so refill a rut. A nag of iron I made to trot I defied – I risk leg and its ulnae. Can a pen I felt to bid dollar or recite open a crate, open a cradle, his garret?

Sample hot Edam in a pan. I’m a rotten digger – often garden I plan, I agreed; All agreed? Aye, bore ensign; I’d a veto – I did lose us site. Wool to hem us? No, cotton. Site pen in acacias or petals a last angel bee frets in.

I met a gorilla (simian); a mate got top snug Noel fire-lit role. Manet, Pagnol, both girdle his reed bogs.

Flan I reviled, a vet nods to order it, Bob, and assign it. Totem users go help mates pull as eye meets eye. Son – mine – pots a free pie, yes? No. Left a tip? Order a dish to get. A ring is worn – it is gold. Log no Latin in a monsignor, wet or wise. Many a menu to note carrot.

Cat in a boot loots; As I live, do not tell! A bare pussy, as flat on fire, I know loots guns, fires a baton, nets a hero my ale drop made too lax.

If it is to rain, a man is a sign; I wore macs, no melons rot. I use moths if rats relive, sir, or retire.

Vendor pays: I admire vendee, his pots net roe. Nine dames order an opal fan; I’ll ask cold log fire vendor to log igloo frost. Under Flat Six exist no devils.

Marxist nods to Lenin. To Lenin I say: “Mama is a deb, besides a bad dosser.”

Gen it up to get “ova” for “egg”. I recall a tarot code: yell at a dessert side-dish sale. Yes/nos a task cartel put correlate: E.S.P. rocks a man. I am a man, am no cad, I’m aware where it’s at!

Fire! Its an ogre-god to help, man, as I go. Do not swap; draw, pull a troll!

It’s not a cat I milk – calf, for a fee, sews a button – knit or tie damsel over us. Mined gold lode I fill until red nudes I met in a moor-top bar can. I sit, I fill a diary – trap nine men in ten-part net – oh, sir, I ask, cod nose? No, damp eel.

So, to get a name! I say, Al! I am Al! Last, I felt, to breed, deer begat.

To can I tie tissue – damp – or deliver Omani artist – a man of Islam.

In a den mad dogs lived on minis a signor who lived afore targets in at. As eremites pull, I, we, surf, fantasise, mend a bad eye. No hero met satyr; Tony, as I stressed, won’t, so cosset satyr.

A vet on isles made us sign it, a name. Foe man one sub.

Aside no dell I fret a wallaby; metal ferrets yodel, like so. On a wall I ate rye. Bored? No, was I rapt! One more calf? O.K., calf, one more, bossy! No! Lock cabin, rob yam, sip martini. Megastar was in a risk.

Cat? No, I’m a dog; I’m a sad loyal pet. A design I wore – kilts (a clan); if net drawn, I put it up. Royal spots snag – royal prevents rift.

Composer, good diet, ar

Feet in the way, dreamless tool fart.finding a happy place in the washing machine. drag net laboratory. fish eye in transistor.

palindrome

but it seems to be cut off somewhere